The Definitive Premier MUSIC LIST 2009.

Jesus Christ, is it that time of year again? I believe it is! The definitive top ten records of 2009 list is coming at you, right now, below this frankly irrelevant introductory blurb which still needs to be here for some reason.

And what a year it's been! We've seen someone unknown and utterly shit win some kind of award, the continued and baffling rise of Lady HawHaw, and the biggest news event of the decade bar NONE - the death of Sir Michael Jackson, king of unproven paedophilia (or 'pop' as the tabloids call it). So great was it's effect that the people of Iran put down their primitive weapons and joined hands in mourning for the great man (at least, that's what I could gather from the news coverage).

On a personal note, the year wasn't so good - 1) I lost my cushy graphic design job, 2) my wife left me but sadly returned after a few glorious months and 3) I needed to vacate London for somewhere more secure, with far fewer people or police around (see point 1).

Anyway, looking back on last year's list, I can't believe how naive some of my choices were! Did I really include Miws and Terence in my top 10? Thankfully, Marmoset and Kevin Davies justified inclusion by following up on the initial promise (and I'm afraid I can't comment on Michaels Erikson's situation until the court case is resolved).

Without further anything, onto the list... gosh, this is utterly exciting or something...


1. Slush Fund - Powerviolence

I thought grindcore had died out pretty soon after Napalm Death ill-advisedly birthed it as a reaction to Thatcher's brutal reign; but then along came Slush Fund! With powerful and violent drumming offsetting the powerful and violent guitars, which work incredibly well with the violently powerful cello section that set this band apart from it's non-existent contemporaries... and in a genre known for it's brevity, the 12 minutes long works out were a breathe of fresh air to this obstinate writer.


2. The zz - DVD-RW+

Great new young-pup-electro-indie band from somewhere in London that everyone else seems to like, hence their inclusion here. I nearly remembered one of their songs just then, but the moment has gone.


3. McManamanara - Hibiscus Now!

I know, the inclusion of the controversial US band could raise some eyebrows... but leaving aside the fierce right wing rhetoric, the calls for involuntary repatriation for anyone who disagrees with them (which includes a high majority of US nationals) and the declaration that bearing arms should be mandatory, on this record you could find a solid rhythm section and some great singing from Hank Exocet. Sadly, their reputation never recovered after Exocet was outed as a South African pre-op transgender person, but at least he/she/it seems to have settled down a bit.


4. Andrew Chesterfield - Left at the Lights

Gnu-acoustic newcomer Chesterfield popped up from nowhere to take the BBC Radio Lincolnshire North 'Best newcomer under the age of 16' prize at their inaugural folk awards last year - before he was stripped of the title early this year as his real age was revealed to be 34. No matter - Left at the Lights is a wonderful record, full of fuzzy banjos, croonsome strings, maudling mandolins and yet further fuzzy banjos. While there was an occasional misstep to be heard, the heart-rending version of Atari Teenage Riot's 'Get Up While You Can' was not among them.

5. Critter Congregation - At Play With...

Breakthrough record for the Canadian psychedelic sextant, and considering it's their 48th release it's not before time... and yet their average age is still only 28! (which includes 72 year old theremin virtuoso Solomon Penski, which gives you no idea where they're coming from). In a year otherwise dominated by thrash or generally downbeat indie-folk hybrids, the playful melodic stupid irritability of tracks such as 'Rainbow Troops' and 'I've Got John's Trousers' were a welcome breath of fresh air, provided the air was secretly contaminated with LSD and asbestos.




6. Whiny Rachel - The Cold Dark Night of the Mole

It's a shame that the backstory of the record has outshone the music contained herein, but never mind. Rachel Williams early career was full of promise, and she soon signed to big money indie label ShankDitch - right at the same time that label head and professional prick Jeffsy Conraad laid off two thirds of the workforce. A heroic graphic designer, unhappy at how he'd been treated, then subtly altered the titles to a number of releases before sending the completed art to the manufacturer; whenceupon Rachel Williams was rebirthed as Whiny Rachel, and by this point it was far too late to do anything about it. (see also how dubstep superstar D-Scale became simply D-Twat, and indie tykes The Gloryfields became Bunch o' Cockrags).

Luckily, Rachel's music is far too superior to suffer at the hands of any sabotage (no matter how well thought out and brilliantly done), with the record sounding like Nick Drake would if he was a teenage woman, played the banjo, and was still alive. I suspect that the wronged designer regrets affecting an album this good, but I also suspect he was at the end of his tether and wanted to hurt is former employers rather than Rachel. I'm also sure he'd apologise to her if he could, but certainly not to the label or that twat Conraad, who is also a prick.


7. Llywellyn and the Llywellyns  - Idiot Son of Donkey Kong

While I've never been a fan of the rock opera, I will make an exception for this young North Walian outfit. Coup doesn't really describe the casting masterstroke of Michael Sheen in the role of a lifetime - Julian Cope. Like the man himself, this is a hugely ambitious, occasionally confused but always blistering piece of work that I can scarcely believe actually exists. My one gripe - apart from the title, there is no reference to anything he did outside of his Brain Donor project. I seriously cannot wait for the 3D re-release next year...

8. Georg Von Hoffenheim - Ethereality

While a lot of loop process music is infinitely dull and is only listened to by aloof hipsters, curious knobheads or the mentally deranged, I found myself really liking this record. The Austrian ex-pat weaves an almost musical montage out of such found sounds as a kettle coming to the boil, builders working on site and a train going over a river. Sadly, Von Hoffenheim hasn't seen a penny of royalties due to a contentious lawsuit brought on by the aforementioned builders.


9. Anonymous - Untitled

While widely pilloried for being some of the most unpleasant people since Francois Duvalier's reign of terror, the math-glitch sound of this American duo is phenomenally ahead of it's time, and probably even ahead of the time they'll have in the future. Like a Fuck Buttons with more than one song, a Silver Apples that isn't old fashioned and irrelevant, and a Suicide that isn't unlistenable (well, half the time), Anonymous make a lot of people utterly furious, but they make me happy - ultimately, this is what matters most. Sadly, like Georg Von Hoffenheim, Anonymous also haven't seen a penny of royalties, but it's down to the fact that they've sold fuck all copies.


10. ??????? - ???????

Traditionally, I've kept the number 10 spot blank - my reasoning being that it's impossible to accurately pin down a perfect list of 10, so the last spot could rotate and change on any given day, depending on the mood of the world. This year however, is slightly different - the number 10 spot is blank because there were only 9 good records released this year. I've tried finding another record that was any good, but trust me - there isn't one. Everything else was either a little bit shit, or a massive skip full of shit with a CD attached.


REISSUE OF THE YEAR: Plutocrat - The Collected Woks of...

A wonderful posthumous anthology from the much-loved stalwart of the Hartlepool street music scene... The entire world was astonished to discover he was actually the missing Clotworthy Nigel Simone Barkus Barkus Skeffington, 9th Earl of Merthyr. He disappeared while serving his national service in the early 1950s in Sri Lanka, and as we now know he returned early in 1963 with dysentery, hepatitis, and a sitar. He travelled the UK plying his uniquely melodic trade with characteristic eccentricity, and was taken in by the good people of Hartlepool, as he looked like a monkey that had been on the gallows for a couple of years, provided the gallows was also in the sea. The rest is a kind of history.


PREDICTIONS FOR 2010:
I think 2010 will bring many changes, including USA's first black president. I also predict that temperatures will rise gradually throughout the first 7 months of next year, before tailing off afterwards - interestingly, I believe that only people in the northern hemisphere will be affected.


HERO OF THE YEAR:
Me, for facing horrifying adversity and surviving like a champ.


VILLAIN OF THE YEAR:
Jeffsy Conraad. What an utter bulb that man is.

Marmoset tour news!

Excellent news! My favourite polite Hungarian techno fiend is doing a UK tour in may! He literally e-mailed me these tour dates the same time as he e-mailed everyone else - stoked to the max! I'm literally excited!!!

He will literally be playing at the following venues:

17 - The Sheffield Exocet
18 - Leeds - United Nil bar
19 - The Newcastle Pointless
20 - Glasgow - Mos Eisley spaceport
22 - Manchester - The Fucker and Firkin
23 - Birmingham - Corduroy's
24 - Cardiff - The Risen Yeast Inn
25 - Swansea - Jackademicals (cancelled at mayor's behest)
27 - Weymouth - Barfly
28 - Bristol - Barely
29 - London - Labour club

See you at the Cardiff show!

INTERVIEW: Michaels Erikson, singer of The Civil War Alliance.

Regular followers of this blog will know that I was totally blown away by The Civil War Alliance album of last year, 'Lee's Stagecoach' - in a time dominated by indentikit indie bands (much like 1996, 2001 and 2005), their rustic bombast really stood out from the pack - I thought it was streets ahead of anything else, both lyrically and musically, so naturally I was delighted when their notably uncharismatic frontman Michaels Erikson (on the right of the picture) agreed to a telephone interview.

The word 'disappointment' is used a lot these days, without much consideration of it's meaning. Well, I've spent the last 40 minutes reading the entry in the dictionary.

This was a disappointment.

I have attempted to transcribe what occurred as best as I can; it's been slightly edited to remove elements of undue stupidity by me and to paint me in a much better light.



INDIE-GESTION: Hi Michaels, thanks for agreeing to answer a few questions for my website.

MICHAELS ERIKSON: Sure.

I-G: I thought Lee's Stagecoach was a hell of a good record - one of the best of last year actually, so it's a real pleasure to be talking to you.

ME: I know.

I-G: As I understand it, The Civil War Alliance formed back in 2003 when you were all still in high school in Richmond, Virginia.

ME: Norfolk man, Norfolk. Basic fucking research.

I-G: I'm sorry, but it's actually really hard finding any real info about you on the internet.

ME: Jesus man, all you've gotta do is ask, and I'll tell you. What do you want to know?

I-G: Ok, so you formed when you were in high school in Norfolk, Virg-

ME: Yeah man, already said that, next question. [inaudible] christ...

I-G: So what would you say were your influences at the time you started?

ME: Is that question for real?

I-G: Er, yes.

ME: Ok. Joshua Chamberlain. James Longstreet. Robert Lee. John Buford. George Pickett. Thomas Chamberlain. Buster Kilrain-

I-G: Er, I guess I was more interested in finding out your musical influences, apart from Robert Lee I'm not really sure who those people are. I'm assuming you don't mean the ex-Newcastle winger? (NB - this was an attempt to break the ice. I think it worked.)

ME: You've gotta be kidding me. Don't they teach any US history in school these days? Son, you're talking like a disgrace.

I-G: Woah..... firstly, I'm 38; secondly, we probably don't learn as much about the American civil war in the UK than you do in the states.

ME: God dammit, you need some real history to learn. When I was--

I-G: Er, I think we're going off map here-

ME: What?

I-G: -so I'll ask you again, what were your musical influences when you just started out?

ME: .......

I-G: Hello?

ME: Ha, made you speak. Well, I didn't really have any musical influences - I'm only the singer. I tend to leave that stuff up to the guitarists, and the pianoists and the recordingists.

I-G: ........

ME: You want me to say that louder son?

I-G: No, I got it... I'm a bit baffled by your answer to be honest.

ME: How d'you mean?

I-G: Well, when one of your musical idols says to you that they don't have any musical influences, and then uses words like 'pianoists', it's always going to throw you off your train of thought. It's just not what I expected, that's all.

ME: Never expect. Never explain. Apologise sometimes. It's the way of the south.

I-G: Hmmm, ok. Lee's Stagecoach did really well for a debut album-

ME: God dammit! It's not our debut. We did, like, 4 records before we even got signed.

I-G: Well... were they released or anything?

ME: Yeah, we sold them all over Richmond, at our shows, eBay - y'know, the usual outlets.

I-G: So I guess I'm forgiven for not really, er, knowing..... wait a second, Richmond?

ME: What of it?

I-G: You just said Richmond. You just said you were from Norfolk less than 5 minutes ago, and you pretty much yelled at me for getting it wrong.

ME: I don't like your tone - you're taping this right? Well, play it back later and realise you're an idiot. Next question.

I-G: Ok, ok. My next question is about your album. The whole concept was pretty far out - you based it on inanimate objects of the period of the American civil war, in particular relating to General Lee - the single 'Lee's Stagecoach' is a defining example of this, in that it merely lists some objects that may have been used by General Lee at some point. What was the thinking behing this? Were you trying to make a statement about the construct of the pop song in the 21st century? Or were you trying to make a statement about the current state of literary historical indie music, ie bands like the Decemberists or Midlake?

ME: Litter wary? Son, let me tell you something. If you go down to the National Civil War Museum in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, you will see each and every item that I listed in that song in that museum, and you will see them in the same order.

I-G: So... you just wrote down things you saw as you went round the exhibits?

ME: Well........ truth be told, I've never been there, but I got my nephew to do it on a school field trip. He's still chasing me for a co-writing credit, the little cracker.

I-G: I... I... shit, I'm stunned! I've been using that song... fuck, I've been using that song as an example of where sophisticated indie music will go next, and you're telling me that you got your nephew to write stuff down that he saw, for you to sing?

ME: Well, I was the one who told him what to do - find a grey uniform and write down what you see.

I-G: How old is he anyway?

ME: He's 10, but he looks about 3. It's pretty freaky actually.

I-G: Is this how you wrote the entire album? Through him?

ME: Not the whole album. There are a few instrumentals on there, and I can't really take credit for those.

I-G: You can't take the credit for any of them! You're a.... hell, you're not even a hack - you're a fraud.

ME: Listen son, I don't give interviews so I can be insul-

I-G: STOP CALLING ME SON, I'm, like, 15 years older than you. I'm stunned! I...... well, at least I know why you're album seems to have such a strong bias towards the confederacy, it's because it's from your 10 year old nephew's point of view!

ME: The whateracy?

I-G: The confederacy!

ME: The confedawhatty?

I-G: THE FUCKING CONFEDERACY! General Lee's army! The army that wore grey and that you wrote an entire fucking album about!

ME: Son - you mean the south. That's what we call ourselves.

I-G: I'm really starting to question if you know anything about US history at all. I mean... what were those names you listed earlier? Y'know, when I asked you what your influences were?

ME: Hold on, give me a second.................... Joshua Chamberlain. James Longstreet. Robert Lee. John Buford. George Pickett. Thomas Chamberlain. Buster Kilrain-

I-G: Why did you pause?

ME: I didn't pause. Those are some of the greatest heroes this country has ever seen, and I know them by heart.

I-G: Are you looking those guys up on the internet?

ME:......No I am not.

I-G: I don't believe you, I'm going to look them up myself... oh my god.

ME: Well, I think you should have everything you need here-

I-G: The first thing that came up was the wikipedia entry for the film Gettysburg - oh my god, is this where your knowledge of the civil war comes from?

ME: Son, I don't know what you're talking about.

I-G: Those names you listed - they're the characters, in the same order that they're billed!

ME: My God, that's a crazy coincidence! I guess that shows how much I know about it after all, for me to get everything right along with those folks.

I-G: Buster Kilrain isn't even a real person! He was fictional!!

ME: I..... he....... what?

I-G: How come you didn't know what the confederacy was? I mean, it must be mentioned in the film?

ME: I'll level with you - I haven't seen the film. But I have read that article about 8 times - it's pretty informative stuff. Have you tried reading the entry on the American Civil War? My god, it's like trying to read a book.

I-G: So your knowledge of the American Civil War comes from the wikipedia entry for the film Gettysburg?

ME: That, and also my own songs. And I saw the first ten minutes of Sahara, but I was pretty drunk at the time. That battle scene! My god, amazing. Amazing. I think it's my second favourite film because of that battle.

I-G: And what's your favourite film?

ME: Soul Man.

I-G: Have you actually seen this one?

ME: Hell yes, it's totally hilarious! Y'know I mentioned the next album earlier? Well, it's actually going to be about this film.

I-G: Please don't do that.

ME: Too late man, my nephew is watching the video as we speak.


Lee's Stagecoach by The Civil War Alliance is out now on Risible Records.

The Vandelay Industries Genuine Quality Deciding Tastemaker list of 2008.

Ok, call me a hypocrite if you like – I swore to myself that I wouldn't do a 'best of 2008' list, which is the time where music journos / hobbyists / idiots feel that their opinions somehow matter and deserve to be foisted on an overly busy and stressed public, regarding whichever discordant wilful obscurism has made them out to be cooler than the rest of the cunts that make up their woefully hateful tribal entourage. I hate these people, and the thought of unspecified harm to their person makes me giggle slightly.

With that in mind, let's get listing! I couldn't decide on an order for these, as quality and genre are irregular bedfellows – it's practically metaphorical buggery – so they're presented in a random order, with some 'treats' thrown in at the end for good measure.

1. The Civil War Alliance – Lee's Stagecoach
More wonderful literary experimental indie from the Minnesotan sextet - the concept of the record is on the subject of inanimate objects involved with the American civil war. The lead single from the album, also titled 'Lee's Stagecoach', would doubtless have charted higher had it ventured beyond the lyrical boundaries of merely listing items that General Lee might have used. If they ever break out into new conceptual directions, they'd be vaguely dangerous – Colin Meloy had better look behind his shoulder. I can't wait to see what they offer in 2009.

2. Marmoset - Klassische-X
Jazz tinged minimal techno from Budapest - the sound alternates between the sunrise in a rain forest and a robot pissing into a bin. The contrast between the two vastly differing styles makes this the best record I've heard for quite some time - I can't wait to see what he offers in 2009.

3. Fire Flagon - When This Is Over I'll Be Molesting Yr Skull and Laughing, Laughing, Laughing...
No one does fiery, searing, piercing 30 minute prog-skrunk-psychedelic-jazzy-dub cosmic voyages quite like this bunch of 17 year olds from Torquay. Vaguely reminiscent of Faust drowning in Magma while the Cosmic Jokers look on and laugh, the diamond encrusted quadruple gatefold warns you that what you're about to hear definitely is not normal. One of Julian Cope's favourite records of the decade - I can't wait to see what they offer in 2009.

4. Professor Postlethwaite's World of Emporium - The Purple Shoppe of Psychedelic Schemes
Admittedly nauseating for 9/10ths of it's emetic duration, the modern psych revivalists make it worth the price of admission with 'You'll Regret This, Come Join Us", their remarkable 9 minute declaration of war on anything post 1968. They also deserve a special mention for their political wing taking 5 council seats at the last elections in Shoreditch. I can't wait to see what antics they'll offer in 2009!

5. Sloblock – Winsome Losesome
Album number 11 in 3 years from the drone-folk project led by Chad Bingley, guitarist in folk-drone band Clothiers. A veritable smorgasbord of shifting textures, sounds, rhythms, malleted strings and howls, it’s otherworldly sound was a massive leap on from their previous album “Calliope’s Revenge”, that was released 2 months prior to this one, and was far more accessible than the terrifying triple CD album “Trepanning My Way to your Heart” that came out 3 months after. I can’t wait to sift through what they offer in 2009.

6. The Listerine Dragons - Anthologically Correct
Though technically a compilation of the defunct act's finer moments from their all-too-brief time together in the early eighties, this is the one thing I've listened to most over the previous 12 months – Last FM proves it. Famously averse to releasing music of any kind, this takes a selection of badly recorded bootlegs and puts them in one place for the world enjoy, with liner notes from Everett True. I can't wait to see what they offer in 2009. Hopefully themselves as a sacrifice.

7. Terence – Our name are Terence
Perfect power punk pop from the youngsters from New Zealand. Controversially received in their home country due to questionable lyrics concerning the Maori population, for the rest of the world (where local politics correctly take second place to a good beat) it was a case of the hype not going far enough – and while the decision to release the album solely on MySpace attracted ire from musical purists and people with souls, it was a marketing masterstroke that catapulted them into the mainstream. I can’t wait to hear what they offer in 2009.

8. Kevin Davies - The Hole Beneath My Heart
Heartfelt slowcore Americana from the hard-nosed Bolton striker? Uh, ok! 12 gorgeous slices of angst-filled vignettes, it reminded me of early Townes Van Zandt. One of the surprises of the julian calendar year (especially Ricardo Vaz Te's virtuoso turn on castanets), it's just a shame he couldn't tour it due to Bolton's ongoing battle against football. I can't wait to see what he offers in 2009, when hopefully he'll have some more time on his hands.

9. Miws - Aberlution
A Welsh language Muse tribute band - absolutely has to be heard to be believed, and even now I'm still doubting it. Made up of former members of Anrhefn, Zabrinski and Frisbee, their sporadic gigs round west and north Wales have been received rapturously, and fills me with a kind of nationalistic candor that the world hasn't seen since Radko Mladic put his boots on. Ones to watch from both sides of the law enforcement barrier - sai'n gallu aros i weld beth mae nhw'n cynnal yn 2009.

10. Er….. well…… hmm. I can’t decide – there have been so many other releases worthy of a mention that I can’t pick another one. Whether it’s the dub-jungle vinyl slabs from the mysterious “White Label” collective, the angelic vocal stylings of Marian Sumner (nepotism be damned, it was a fine record and I don’t care who her father is), and not forgetting the childlike tweecore of “Giraffe”. I can’t wait to see what they, and many others, offer us in 2009.

SPECIAL MENTIONS!

RE-ISSUE OF THE YEAR!
Sly Wilcox – Heaven is a Drug (and so is Hell, and probably Purgatory too Wo-Man)
Finally, this lost psych-folk masterpiece from 1965 is widely available again. The lyrics of the classic ‘Drug Mule Woman’ are still among the finest I’ve heard – “I got a drug mule woman / Filled her up good / My drug mule woman / Likes different kinds of food, sing it baby” – when it’s repeated for the duration of side A, it becomes like a religious mantra, and I’m happy to be converted. I would say that I can’t wait to see what he offers in 2009, but he’s dead.

MOST SADLY MISSED: George W. Bush. If it wasn’t for his fast reflexes (and I say that in the most grudging way possible), he’d have had a shoe in the face, and the world would’ve rejoiced (apart from people who don’t matter). So, so, so, so, so near.

PREDICTIONS FOR 2009: Things will be pretty much as they are now, only slightly worse.

(Coming soon - some genuine music I like from 2008 (but I promise you I won't write about it, just make a compilation) and some christmas music that will make you as miserable as I am.)

RIP: Davey Graham

I just found that Davey Graham passed away yesterday. Bugger. I was going to put a little video up of him, but the guardian have done a pretty nifty job of compiling some great youtube stuff, so go there and watch it.

The Geraldine Fibbers, brought to you by Spillers Records.

While I can't do 'proper' updates at the moment, I'd like to take this opportunity to celebrate the fact that I finally own a copy of Butch by the Geraldine Fibbers on vinyl - what a record. It's only taken something like 11 years for me to do, and it's thanks to the good people at Spillers Records.

Here's a song by them - it is called California Tuffy.